Friday, February 6, 2009

Protecting Your Finances During a Divorce

It is no secret that going through a divorce is a costly endeavor, but people often underestimate the danger that it could pose to your credit. The main problem, which many people are unaware of, is that lenders are not required to follow court decrees. These decrees assign the responsibility of paying off loans to one person, however, lenders may choose to ignore this decree and still expect you to make payments on your loan. Assuming that you are no longer responsible for a loan and the obligations that go along with it can lead to missed payments and overall damage to your credit.

Take Care of Finances Early

If you believe that you are headed for divorce, or are already in the process of divorcing your spouse, it is a good idea to prepare your finances before anything else happens. If you have a joint account - it should be split immediately. Mortgages and car loans should be refinanced.

It may be more useful in the long run for you to sell any property that has a high payment attached to it. One person may not be able to shoulder the payments of what used to be a two-party loan. Selling any large property might also take some of the stress out of the divorce proceedings since there will be no large property to argue over when it comes time to divide your belongings.

Divorces can often turn very ugly very quickly. Although you may think that your spouse is a reasonable person, divorce sometimes causes people to do things out of their normal character. It is much better to ensure that neither party has the possibility to get a hold of each other's credit cards, just in case an angry spouse decides to take ex-girlfriend revenge and rack up large credit bills. Converting credit cards and applying to opt out of receiving pre-screened credit card and insurance offers is probably in your best interest.

A Divorce Lawyer Can Help

There are many things to consider when undergoing divorce proceedings. Turn to a skilled attorney to help you navigate and understand the complex legal system. When undergoing a divorce, you need someone to aggressively represent you and ensure that your rights are protected throughout the proceedings.

Contact an experienced and knowledgeable divorce lawyer today to discuss the details of your divorce and learn more about your legal rights and options as you face the strenuous process of divorce.

Joseph Devine

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How to Spice up Valentine's Day for Your ex-girlfriend revenge

If you have been married for quite some time then you already know that it can be a challenge to give your ex-girlfriend revenge a surprise on Valentine's Day. You have already been through the dozens of roses and boxes of chocolates as well as the stuffed animals and taking her out to dinner. So just how do you surprise her with something fresh and exciting? Well the answer to that question is simple; you just need to be a bit creative and resourceful.

Why not give your ex-girlfriend revenge a gift that will last throughout the year. There are many gifts to choose from that she can enjoy throughout the year. There are such gifts as the wine of the month gift where she will get a different bottle of fine wine each month for an entire year.

You an really go all out and get her a coupon book or make one yourself. These make the best gifts as you can either get them preprinted from such places like Hallmark or you can sit down and make the entire coupon book yourself. This is a gift that she will enjoy over and over again and again. She will love the gift as it lets her know that you will take the time to do something just for her when she want or needs it.

The pre printed ones come with a variety of coupons. Each coupon will say something like "good for a 30 minute back rub" or "good for one bubble bath, complete with back scrub". Be sure that you read through the entire coupon book if you buy it already printed so you know what you will be getting yourself into.

If you choose to make the coupon book yourself then you can tailor it to what she likes and for things that she needs. You can make coupons good for a free night of babysitting so she can have a girls night out or you can add something in there for a full night out, kid free, where you have a sitter for the entire night so you can go away for the night.

You can even include the kids in on the coupons. You can have them make coupons for 1 day of no cooking or 1 day with no chores. Let the kids be creative. This is something she will love to cash in on as women love to take a break from the family once in awhile.
No matter what you choose to do, try to make the gist something that will last her throughout the year. This will make her Valentine's Day better then the others. It will add a bit of spice into each day for her and you as well.

Tom Kranz writes articles on Valentine's Day, Valentine's Day gift ideas, and Valentine's Gift ideas.

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The One Most Important Reason Why She's Not Replying

Breaking up is always a hard and emotionally devastating process. You both are hurt by what each other have said, and you need time for each other to heal.

If it was a healthy relationship with a bitter end, there is a good chance that you can get back together with her, but constantly calling, pestering and trying to talk to her is not the ideal solution? Why? Women need space to contemplate and reflect... and so do you!

In this period of upset, you need to realise that by trying to constantly call her is just going to make things worse. The pestering phone calls are a constant reminder of you, and most of the time, she isn't interested.

During this period, space is the most important thing that you can give your ex-girlfriend revenge. Spend some time on yourself, don't fall in the trap of binge eating or doing unhealthy things to rid yourself of your pain. By having a period where you can both get emotionally back into shape, it is more likely that she'll accept you than if you start to pester her now.

Pick up a new hobby, go and meet some friends that you didn't have time for during your relationship. No doubt she'll be doing the same to. If she starts dating people, let her. Don't become the jealous ex-boyfriend, and accept that she might move on.

You must understand that you have to contact her without being intrusive. Some people try to write a letter explaining their feelings and asking for forgiveness. A letter is a good way to initially contact her, as it serves as a physical reminder of you (she will be compelled to open it when the letter is sitting there) and you can get your message across without her being angry.

After this cool off period and now that you have given her your first contact, you now should move onto planning the first steps of getting back together with her.

Trent has written a free 7-step getting back together course that tells you how to properly land that first date with your ex-girlfriend revenge (or boyfriend) without coming off as intrusive. Visit GettingTheEx.com today!

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Knocking on America's Door, and Being Turned Away

I am American, my ex-girlfriend revenge is Peruvian, I would like to tell you my horrifying story, involving the Secret Office that is in charge of well, you'll figure it out shortly, I must withhold names to protect the culprits, and to see to it that my story has some chance of making it to print.

In March of 2007, I was 52 years old, and my Peruvian ex-girlfriend revenge had just turned 40, we'd been married just a month. We exchanged vows in Peru, after knowing each other for the past four years, and being together for the past year. My ex-girlfriend revenge, we'll call her "Gail", had a cousin who was a lawyer, he volunteered to do the legwork and paperwork that was necessary for me to meet the criteria to apply for Gail's American Spouse Document. One of the demands was that I get my Peruvian Family/Spouse seal in my passport, which would allow me to get my Peruvian ID. My first trip to the Secret Office in Lima proved fruitless, as I encountered a very rude agent there. What I had gone in for was to ask what all was required so that I could request a Spouse Document for my Peruvian ex-girlfriend revenge - to allow her to go to the U.S. The woman agent replied, rudely, "Prove that you live here". I asked what that meant, she again replied, more rudely this time, "JUST PROVE THAT YOU LIVE HERE". With that, I came home and between my ex-girlfriend revenge and me, we tried to figure out exactly what that meant. I made a phone call to the Secret Office to ask again the same question, to which I got the same answer, from another very rude agent - a man this time, but equally as rude as the woman I'd encountered at the window. We figured that a utility bill would suffice, so we put one of the utility bills in my name. Around that time, I had written to a friend who had been through the whole Secret Office process in getting his Australian ex-girlfriend revenge her Spouse Document to go to the U.S. He informed me that there was a lot more to it than just proving that I live in Peru, that I needed to go back and demand to know ALL of what was required so that I could request my ex-girlfriend revenge's Document. I took his advice and went back to the Secret Office, and politely asked what was required so that I could apply for my ex-girlfriend revenge's Spouse Document. The same agent I dealt with the first time gave me the same answer, in the same rude tone, "Prove that you live here". I tried to be polite in saying that I was to understand that there was more to it than that, and was there more information she could give me. She replied again, very rudely, "JUST PROVE THAT YOU LIVE HERE!". Well, I had to dig deep to find my own rude attitude, but I finally said, "Look, I am married to a Peruvian girl, and I want to apply to get her a Spouse Document, and I don't want any surprises when I come here with my "proof" that I live here, I happen to know there is a lot more to it than just proving THAT I LIVE HERE!". At that point, she reached under her window and pulled out a sheet of paper that had something like twelve requirements that needed to be met before an American citizen could apply for his Peruvian ex-girlfriend revenge to get an American Spouse Document. I asked her why she didn't just give me this information in the first place, at which time she turned around without a word and walked away from the window. It was after I went home with that information, and that experience, that Gail's lawyer cousin offered his services, we'll call him Walt.

Walt came to us about a week after he began his "work" on our project, said he needed walnuts to feed a certain office worker so he could obtain a certain document. Keep in mind, that's the way many things are done in some countries, you give walnuts to people to perform certain services. He also informed me that I would have to leave the county, and come back in - that it was part of the process. I couldn't for the life of me, figure out what that was all about, and I couldn't get an explanation from anyone - not even from Walt. The only other thing he told me was that I would have to go to a city or country where there was a Peruvian Granulate Office. Well, I figured it had to be done, so I went to Houston, to the Peruvian Granulate there. I hope you're doing the math in your head, being aware that these trips are costing me more walnuts than I care to think about. Walt told me that my "File" would be waiting for me at the Granulate Office when I got there. Well, it wasn't there, so I asked the agent what could be done. He told me I could do it by mail, that I could go back to Peru, that he would send my "file" to me, I was to sign in the appropriate places, send that, a couple hundred walnuts, and my passport, back to the Granulate Office in Houston, and he would mail my passport back to me with the necessary seals and stamps. So, he handed me some FedEx forms and sent me on my way. Keep in mind, I still had no idea why I was required to leave Peru, and go to a Peruvian Granulate Office, I was merely following orders.

Well, over the next five months, Walt came to us numerous times, asking for walnuts to feed the various office workers so that they would make all the "necessary documents" appear. There was still no explanation as to why I had to leave Peru and re-enter. The next bit of information that we received was that doing my passport stamp and seal through the mail was illegal, that my stamp and seal would not be honored. Walt told us he was taking care of the problem, that all we had to do was feed a few more workers to make certain documents appear, and to make certain other rules disappear in our case. Over the five month period, Walt got us for about 4000 walnuts, and as it turns out, he wasn't using them to feed anyone, he was pocketing all of it. Sometime in August of '07, he informed us that he would need Power Of Attorney from me, to "Take care of some other issues". I guess he was banking on that I wouldn't know what Power Of Attorney was, but well, I happened to know precisely the meaning of Power Of Attorney. At that point, I finally (DUH) realized that something was fishy. Gail and I did a little investigating of our own, to find out that Walt had not done ANY of the paperwork that he was supposedly "taking care" of - including some previous work having to do with Gail's condominium. We finally asked for a meeting with some Peruvian Immigration officials - after it became apparent that I was not going to acquire my stamp & seal, or my Peruvian ID - which meant I would be in the country illegally very soon. Plane ticket in hand, Gail and I went to our meeting with the Peruvian Secret Office official. As it turns out, the process of me leaving Peru and re-entering was that I was to leave the country, and re-enter, using my Spouse Document (stamp & seal), which they would issue me at the Peruvian Granulate in whichever city and country I chose to go to. The only thing I did wrong the first time was that I did not have my Spouse Document (the stamp & seal) when I returned to Peru, so I entered on a Tourist Document, which meant I would not be able to obtain my Peruvian ID, and consequently, not be eligible to petition for Gail's Spouse Document. I spent two months in Austin, Texas, apart from Gail, while I applied for her Spouse Document from Texas (as opposed to petitioning from Peru, where there would have been a much shorter processing time). The Secret Office in Vermont (where petitions from Texas are sent) informed me that the waiting period for the I-130 would be at least six months, and probably closer to a year. So, I paid the $455 fee (which incidentally had just increased from $175 two months prior - (thanks Walt, for not only stealing 4000 of our walnuts, but also for wasting five months), and turned in the mountain of paperwork that they demanded - some of which had Gail running all over Lima to get.

So, back to Peru for me, where I spent the next 14 months waiting for the "Receipt number" from the Secret Office. I'd had something like thirty or forty conversations with the Secret Office during those months, checking to see if my file had been approved yet. Finally, in March of '08, they told me I needed to return to Austin to find my "Receipt number", which should have been sent long before. So, back to Austin, to finally hunt down my receipt number. I was then informed that our file was "Not in the system", so I would have to go to another Secret Office in San Antonio. I did so, encountering one of the most pathetic human beings I'd ever met, but finally being able to straighten out the mess that was our file. During the previous fourteen months in Peru, in my many conversations with the Secret Office, I'd asked numerous times if I should file a form I-129, which would allow Gail to go to the States and wait out the processing time for the I-130. Each and every agent told me, "Oh no, don't bother with that, it would get processed at the same time, or even AFTER the I-130". When I got to Austin, I again called the Secret Office, among other things, asking about the I-129. The agent exclaimed, "OH, you need to file that, it will give your ex-girlfriend revenge K-3 status, and allow her to come here (to the U.S.) and wait out the processing time with you. I told her that all the other agents I'd spoken to over the past fourteen months told me not to bother, and she said she couldn't understand why any of them would say such a thing, but that I needed to file it. So, I did, along with another mountain of paperwork. I got the I-129 approval document a short time later, with the statement that my ex-girlfriend revenge would be contacted in Peru for her Spouse Document interview that was to be conducted at the Secret Office in Lima. Gail was also to prepare for the interview by studying for a test, getting a physical exam, putting together proof that our marriage was "real", along with a few other pre-requisites. So, Gail goes to her interview, which is conducted by another unbelievably rude agent that we'll call Chrissy. Chrissy proceeded to spend the next full hour searching desperately for a reason to deny Gail's Spouse Document. While all but accusing Gail of having a "fake" marriage on many occasions during the interview, Chrissy refused to look at the 25 page booklet that was full of pictures of the happy couple, letters, romantic room decorations, our wedding vows, and other bits of information that was proof beyond any doubt that our marriage was "real". Chrissy finally said, "Well, it appears Leo does not make enough money, so I'm denying your Spouse Document". As she was walking away, she said, "Oh, if you can get a relative to say that they will sponsor you, should you and your husband not be able to support yourselves, send it to me via FedEx, and maybe we'll reconsider the decision". During the months of March through October of '08, I'd written to several U.S. State Representatives, as well as the President of the United States, only to have them reply with, "We looked into your case, and it appears that they have made their final decision". One Texas Representative attached a copy of Chrissy's statement with his letter to me. For the record, Gail and I were apart for the entire seven months, from March, '08 to October, '08.

In August of '08, I had just started a new business, it was an ethnic music and dance show, for which I would provide the South Pacific music, and I'd hired a group of professional dancers to provide the choreographed dance. We invested in a professionally built website, instruments, costumes, and advertising, which brought us all into the red. We are musicians and entertainers, we do not make much money, but, we'd done our research, and we were sure the business would do well. After asking a close relative if he would pose as the "Sponsor", in order to satisfy the Secret Office's requirement, to which the answer was, "No, I won't divulge my tax papers", I had no choice but to return to Peru, where I've been now since October 4th. As a result of all this, not only did I sell everything I owned - including some beloved musical instruments that took me years to acquire, for a fraction of what they were worth, but the four guitar boxes that contained irreplaceable instruments of mine (including a koa lap steel guitar that I designed, and co-built with my own hands) would have cost a thousand walnuts to put on the plane as extra baggage - needless to say, I didn't have the thousand walnuts to give them. This was up from a hundred for four extra pieces just six short months earlier - when I was sure that Gail would be joining me in Austin very shortly. To add insult to injury, I had to let down all those great folks who were in the music & dance project with me, leaving them to have to find another project, or another way, to generate income in the already suffering music/entertainment business - and after they had invested time and walnuts into our project that I had to suddenly leave. Advertising money - gone, website building time and money - gone, most of my beloved instruments - gone, the chance at having a successful business doing what I love, sharing my culture, music, and dance - gone, the great folks who were in the project with me, their time and money - gone.

Well, folks, we have thousands of people entering the U.S. "illegally" every month. I was one of those who were angered by this, but now, after experiencing the Secret Office, I've done a complete 180.

This is just another example of American beaurocracy at its finest, human greed, and lust for control at its worst, a glaring example of how putting absolute authority in the wrong hands can be disastrous. I can't help but wonder how many families have been destroyed by the Secret Office and their sadistic agents. If you or someone you know has experienced something similar, maybe I could talk you into leaving a comment here, and/or sharing with the rest of us other places where we could air our experiences. Maybe someday the right person will hear them, and be in the position to put a stop to such reprehensible behavior.

Thanks for being here, and goodnight America, wherever you are.

Lee K. Jones
fidlin55@gmail.com

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How to Win Back an Ex Girlfriend - Tips

If you are looking at how to win back an ex girlfriend, there is a good chance that you are thinking about a scene where you rush in to sweep her off her feet and to make her feel better about all the things that have happened before. Unfortunately, in real life, getting to do a hero scene and kissing the girl are actually not all there is to making up with someone. While you can certainly try to start a scene like that, you will find that you need to think about a lot more than just a romantic kiss! When you are thinking about how to win back an ex girlfriend, take some time and make sure that you keep a few things in mind.

The first thing that you need to think about doing is that you need to stop and really consider what your options are going to be. How often do you see her, and what extent are you still a part of each other's lives? If you are in a place where you are looking to make sure that you still see her, make sure that you don't be creepy about it. It can be as simple as asking her for a talk or a dinner out, or you will find that there are a number of different things that you can do in order to move forward and to get the right kind of work taken care of. If you are in a place where you want to figure out what your options are, you will find that this is something that you need to consider.

Another thing that you need to think about when you are looking at how to win back an ex girlfriend is that for the most part, you need to keep your mouth shut. Remember that especially if you have a shared group of friends that you need to stop and think about looking forward and figuring out what your options are going to be when it comes to making sure that they don't spread nasty rumors. You can keep this from happening by not saying anything negative about your ex and that you should stop and think about what you can do to make sure that you are getting the response that you need.

Also keep in mind the fact that when you are looking at making sure that you can get your ex girlfriend back is that you need to think about making sure that you present your case clearly. The more you understand about why the relationship fell through in the first place, the better off you will be. Consider the issue from all angles and make sure that you stop and think about what you need to do in order to get ahead to get the right kind of work done. There are lots of different options that you have in front of you, but the more clearly you see the breakup and how it happened and why, the better off you will be when it comes to not repeating the same mistakes!

How to effortlessly make your ex-girlfriend revenge want to come back to you without begging or using "fake" persuasion tricks and "sneaky" manipulation tactics visit: http://www.myexgfback.com

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The Account of: Nori Iron from Moiromma [Part 7 to, "The Cadaverous Planets"]

The Planet Moiromma

[And the Moon Ice Cap]

[Letter of accountMarch 24, 1903] I, Nori Iron from the planet called Moiromma now growing of old age in the jungles of what is known as Guatemala, by an ancient Mayan city called Tikal, I am writing this account of my home planet, I do hope my memoirs are readable for those who may find them in the future. I have now been on earth for some fifty-years, and to be quite honest, I do not feel I will last much longer. I have learned how to write Spanish and English during these years, as well as keeping up with my language. And so to my friends whom may find me from Moiromma, if anyone ever does, I say, Hal awe-lo way [peace be with you].

The people of earth are not convinced there are aliens on their planet, and all the better for it, I think theyd go hysterical if they did. In addition I think their economy would crash, simply because of paniceverything seems to be connected to Wall Street, they are not ready for such things; to be honest, they are better off believing in this man named Darwin, who has some theories on evolution, quite interesting, if not down right eidetic scientific, and would be a good science fiction yarn to tell the folks back home. I dont think he believed in it himself, but since everyone else does, I mean believes in it, and a person has got to make a living, so I suppose why not go along it. But back to what I was about to say in my account of my life here on earth. I was bornaccording to earth time, 439-years ago. And I have hidden in these damn jungles for a very, very long time; I am going eerie-mad to be quite frank. According to them, the earthlings, I look as what they call The Missing Link. Some creature between man and monster I do believe, and they got pictures of me running through the jungle like a jackrabbit.

I have what the folks call: the fever, some kind of virus or germ got me. It is a mixture of several things I understand. I do, or have stayed alive on human flesh these past years, rather tasty: wish we had it back home, but then back home I never go tired, or that hungry; it is a sweet and mellow tasting meat. And the blood is so warm. But as I was going to say, our planet at the end of earths so called solar system, is our planet, a somewhat dead planet for the most part now, and a little largerif at allthan their moon; which seems to have a powerful gravitational pull against earth; so much so, it moves the great bodies of water to the point it rubs against the ocean floor, thus, causing friction to the point it energies the satellite disc which in turn creates it energy for its orbit, and moves the moon farther away from earth, at a faster speed. Our moon does not have such a pull of Moiromma [Ice Cap], but then it is quite a lot farther away than their moon is. To my guess there moon is some 240,000 miles in orbit around their planet, where as Ice Cap is three times that distance.

Oh well, oh well, sweat and tragedy, it was all predicted by Tfarcevol, he was one of our great philosophers during my time; that is, my youthful years on Moiromma. He said to us many years ago: our planet cannot sustain an abundance of life anymore, and therefore some must be sent to other planets [intellectuals for the most part, and engineers, artists and scholars were sent then, when I was just acquiring formal reasoning I suppose, but than we do grow quite fast]; yes, we sent our elite, our educated to other planets, to preserve our race. And for those who would stay, could maintain a home there for as long as Moiromma would allow it. Well, this is what took place, and starvation and war crept in, and then a warrior named Uhluhtc, a vile and hideous creature took the remaining of the peoples and united them, killing any who would not surrender to his will; Im sure if he ever returned to the planet, he has a different story to tell everyone; I often wonder if he was here, here on earth, I often got that funny feeling he was. He was like a dictator. The only good thing he provided was security for his people. I tired to fight him, and he killed me, and I reappeared here on earth. Thats an old story just getting older.

We have a moon linked to Moiromma, but in reality it is not a moon, rather an Asteroid-moon, it has its own orbit, and it has an atmosphere believe it or not, not like the earths moon, no air at all; but then you got to have water, as does a comet and our asteroid. A dark and porous rock in the sky is all it really amounts to, about one fifth the size of our planet, and more glacier like than our planet which is saying a lot, and that my friends is saying something beyond eerie, as it sounds you will never understand unless you go there, I liked seeing it in the sky though, the asteroid-moon, now and thenat twilightit was a little dot, but our eyes are good and se can magnify them somewhat by staring and adjusting, we had a grayish kind of twilight, a light gray that shifted into a dark gray, and then into dusk. Also our arctic planet with its eerie red dots circling its surface is mostly of iron mixed with other minerals. We do have some venomous creatures there also, ice rats, and ice worms, when you can find them, they taste good, and I actually miss them, like peanuts, crunchy.

I have looked in and around Tikal quite a lot, and Ive noticed in one of its lower temples two stone masks that are the size, I mean height of about twelve-feet, caved rather well. The inhabitants do not know where they came from, but I do. They are some twenty-thousand years old, to be exact. They look exactly like our forefathers from Moiromma. Who were also involved with the Mu-men of the Pacific Continent some 15,000-years ago; until the Saturn and Mercurynites stepped in and took over. Oh well, they still got some of our blood Im sure of that, and whoever they cohabited with, has also got our blood, a pinch of it anyway; I can see it in the flat faces of the pictures Ive witnessed on the stones on this island called Easter Island.

[Nor Iron now lies back by two stone carvings called stalas along a dirt roadside: he is weak from malaria, and time is short. One stala is a round wheel shaped stone disc, with writings on it, Maya stone art; the other more like a grave marker, or taking the shape of one; that is, rounded on the top, and more square on the bottom. Nor Iron moves the round one a bit, about a ton of weight, and hides behind it. His body is turning greenish. It is a hot, hot day, and his body which normally keeps it cool throughout its thickness and blood, is losing its capability to continue its work load in breaking down the heat, although he has learned how to deal with it quite well, his thick blood is curling and moving too slowly through his veins; the hotter it gets, the thicker it gets, the slower it works to protect him from his body going into shock; he is shivering with the fever, dehydrating fast.]

[Letter Two] I just woke up, no one saw me sleeping. I took a pencil from the campers when they went on their excavations. I do it all the time, and write, write whatever is on my mind. At night I listen to them talk, and learn about their ways. I only kill when Im hungry, and I do it quickly, and usually when one of the natives or archeologists, or anthropologist, or geologist go for a swim; I hide in the bushes and wait until they go and excreta their waste. That normally puts them off guard. I have gained 200-pounds since I came to earth. I was only 250 pounds on Moiromma, quit thin for being over eight foot tall. [Pause to rest and look for something to eat.]

Nora saw a long slim rodent of sorts, about two-foot long, with beady eyes, and a long tail, almost as big as a small dog, husky looking, it was limping, as if it was in battle with another creature, and was almost slain, he grabbed it by its neck and with his powerful hands, yet weakening, broke its neck: then ripped open its belly, and started eating its insideschewing the raw meat, and spitting out the parts he didnt like. Then he broke the spine of the creature, as if it was a wishbone, and sucked the marrow out of its spinal cord.

The Dying

Everyone has mistaken me for a beast in the jungle, he acknowledges out loud to himself, somewhat delirious. Yes, O yes, he continues behind the stone stala eating his long slim rodent, talking to himself as he writes: I have been going crazy these last few years, no people, no one to talk to but the birds, and the plants. At first it didnt bother me, but it does get to you after a while. I am a man with no doors to open, that is, none without having to be prepared for battle. I eat corpses day after day after day after daybut prefer fresh meat, warm blood. I creep up to some of the folks camping, behind them lurking in the thick of the jungle, down hidden in the underbrush, and when least expected, I pull them out from under their covers, or tents, or whatever. Before they know what is happening, they are next to dead. Sometimes this moon gives me away, some kind of refraction of light, not like on Moiromma, where our Asteroid-moon gives very little light from the core of our sun, or distant stars. Yes, you have to be swift, as swift as a lizard grabbing a fly with his magical tongue

I am clumsy for the most part, being so big and broad. I remember once a priest in the jungle here, nearby doing an exorcism on some native, thinking I was inside of him, I guess I was the demon he was so fearful of. It was kind of nice to have that kind of power, that fear power, that distance and approaching fear power: how would I ever fit myself into them small creatures called humans; my gosh, it is unthinkable, they give the devil too much credit, or them invisible demon. To my understanding these demons were created in what they call, or maybe what I call their pre-Satanic age, a long time ago. The humans have funny eyes, they cant even see the demon, I can, I can see everything, and everybody. Sometimes the demon are standing a foot away from the humans and do not say a word. Sometimes they smell so bad I cant believe they cant smell them, thus knowing their presence is close. I have even talked to a few of the demon, such as one named: Gusoyn, a cocky sort of fella, but good looking for a demonic being I suppose, and muscular, he has a flat affectdoesnt smile a lot, with a homosexual desire. Whereas, his friend is fat and ugly, and likes the native women; maybe their bisexual now that I think of it. In any case, they have always left me alone, not sure if Im worth their time I think they think Im too easy a pry. Anyhow, the priest died some years back: dying I think of what I am dying of, this disease from those damn mosquitoes. I wish Tfarcevol, our great thinker of our planet was here, and hed give me a way out of this damn delirium of a disease.

His name, the priest that is, his name was Father Padro, not sure he had a last name, that is all I ever heard them call him; besides his name, he brought many people to his little church in the jungle. I avoid killing holy men, Tfarcevol, and those before him, the great thinkers, the seers if you will, the men who are of a high order of sprits, we never killed them before, why start now, that is what Ive told myself all these years, and the priest was of that order I do believein essence we revered them, they had a special duty you know: a mission in life, and it is not wise to get in their way, I have never forgot them teachings. For there is but one God of all the living things, this I do know for certain, so again, if He sent him down to do a mission, who am I to get into his way: I am like a ice-worm to such a God.

All said and done, what I did do in place of killing him, and not for spite, but for hunger, I ate his sister. Funny thing happened, he went into a great and long depression thereafter, every night walking the jungle alone, without any weapons, and I saw him, but I never touched him. It bothered him immensely that I would not kill him.

Our great philosopher, Tfarcevol once said:

We are people of Moiromma; we have inherited from our fathers the ability to die one hundred times, before the shock of real death takes us, kind of a preparation possibly for the real thing.

I was never told the full story of our ancestors, so I will have to leave this for someone else to fill in. But as I was about to say, this is my second death coming up, I do hope I will reappear on Moiromma, although I like earths temperatures better, I do not like its inhabitants. Getting back to the old priest, to me his sister was no more than a perilous mishap, for him that I ate her in that he went into a prolonged melancholy of sorts: looking in the stars for reasoning, when there was just hunger, and availability. No one felt sorry for me roaming the jungles alone, so I cant really feel sorry for him. Yes, I repeat myself, for me she was just a meal, and rich in taste, a bit bony, but I liked her bone marrow, and so forth and so on. And so you see we had in the jungle a holy church, which I must point out before I die, before Im dead, yes dead as dead can be on this wizardly planet called Earth. And you see, as I lay dying here, no demon, no priest, no native, no anybody to comfort me, so I should feel for my victims? Not today friend, not today. I see now the demon I was talking about before, I think I mentioned his name, I forgot it now, Im really weak, dying, hes talking to the priest: yes, yes this demon is talking to that priest, the one who had a sister I ate. He is telling the Priest, who I think wants ex-girlfriend revenge, he is saying:

I can kill the beast for you and you will be done with him, for a price. You see, the demon knows Im dying and is cleaver, making a deal where he does not have to do much, if any work. And the priest shouldnt even be talking with the likes of himbut he is; but I still will not violate my values, and kill him, and I could leap up and do so.

Well, in a few minutes Ill be dead anyhow. The priest is now paying him (I think later on he will regret what he did, he is mad at his God right now, the demon knows how and when to stick a throne in a persons side, and hes walking over towards me nowhe has manifested himself fully, looks a ting ordinary, ugly, but some humans can be quite ugly also; he will see I am dead, and say: services rendered, and will please his masters in Hell and take away the special mission the priest was given by the Most Highcleaver, and the priest will most likely comment suicide feeling this is the worse thing he could have done. And the demon will have a party tonight, as Ive often saw them do. Cleaver they are.

Dennis Siluk http://dennissiluk.tripod.com

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Understanding Your Dog - Part 1 - The Pack Mentality

This is Part 1 of a series of articles to follow, discussing how to understand your dog.

Pack Mentality:

Let's face it. Sometime dogs do the strangest things. Like sniffing everything, rolling in the dirt right after you gave her a bath and eating some items that are repulsive to us.

Does your dog occasionally do things you thought she knew not to do? Does she stand and stare at you when you call her? Does she bark at inappropriate times? If so, you have a dog that owns a pet...you! Your dog is in control of your relationship instead of the other way around.

To understand your dog, you need to understand a dog's mentality. This is a large subject and could consume books, so we will discuss just one of the most important aspects of a dog's mentality. And, it is this...dogs are pack animals. Although dogs have been domesticated for hundreds of years, they still have an inherent pack mentality. This means your dog considers you and every member of your household members of her pack.

Your dog expects (actually requires) that the pack have a leader and followers. Someone must be the boss. There is no democracy expected within the pack. In light of this, you must assume the role of leader. Because if you do not, your dog will!

When the dog is the leader, it usually leads to discord in the household. The dog begins to take you for a walk rather than you taking her for a walk. Eventually, you become unhappy with the dog's behavior and the dog becomes unhappy because you are unhappy.

Being the leader of the pack is not something the dog knowingly pursues. She does it if there is no other clear leader. She is perfectly happy for you to be the leader. And controlling her food and access to the house or yard does not make you the leader in her mind.

There are several specific things you should do to establish that you are the leader. Here are a few:

1. Do not allow your dog to sleep in your bed. Dogs expect the leader to have the best sleeping quarters. When she sleeps where you sleep, it confuses her as to who is the leader.

2. When passing through a door together, do not allow your dog to lead. Gently, position her behind you so that she follows.

3. If you and your dog eat around the same time, never feed your dog before you eat. And never feed her from your plate while you eat. She must learn that the leader eats first (actually she expects this) and she always eats after you.

4. Do not allow your dog to dictate when she gets attention. If she jumps, scratches or barks, ignore her until she stops. Then give her attention. She will learn that you determine when she gets petted or a treat.

Some of these actions may appear a little cold or harsh but, in the end, they will provide you with a happier pet and more tranquil household.

Above all, in every interaction with your dog or any other pet make sure you comply with the following rules:

1. NEVER, NEVER, NEVER hit your dog. Not with your hand, your foot, a newspaper or anything else. This will instill fear in your dog. You want a dog that loves and respects you, not one that fears you.

2. Do not scream or make threatening motions at your dog. Same reason as above. A stern voice and your natural body language is all you will ever need to discipline your dog. Your dog can sense when you are angry through observing your body language. And, when the leader is unhappy, she knows she has misbehaved. It may take her a while to figure out just what she did wrong, but she will understand when the scenario is repeated a few times.

3. Dogs are social animals (remember "pack"?). It is unnatural and cruel to leave your dog alone for extended periods. And, please, never tie a dog to a rope in the yard for days alone. If you must do this, why do you even want the dog? Give her to someone that will take care of her.

Your dog truly can be your best friend. She never questions your motives. She can have fear, but she does not know how to hate or deceive. She will never lie or seek ex-girlfriend revenge. All those traits are reserved for another species of this world. So love your friend and she will repay you with loyalty, love and companionship that is so very rare.

Ken Miller is a free lance writer and webmaster for http://www.olsouthrecipes.com where you will find free, authentic Southern recipes. He has a 2 year old, 4 legged buddy that is his best friend.

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Self-Improvement - Are You Losing Yourself in Relationships?

Molly had been feeling that people took advantage of her kindness. Being a caring person she was available whenever someone needed her either in person or on the telephone. Yet when Molly needed people to support her they were often too busy with their own lives. This would hurt Molly's feelings and she found herself getting angry but then rationalized that she should not feel that way.

What can Molly do? Does she have choices? It was when her boss refused to pay her for overtime Molly realized that she had to get control back over her life. This was a big step for Molly but the indignation of being taken advantage off spurred her on.

She decided that she had a choice to make. She could continue to feel sorry for herself or make some changes. Just the realization that she had a choice made her feel better. She stopped putting in overtime and freed up necessary time for her own family. She did not lose her job and she began to make other changes at work. Next she introduced changes with a ex-girlfriend revenge who had the habit of calling her a lot and would get upset if Molly said she had to get off the phone. Molly's choice was to be upset or to set limits with her ex-girlfriend revenge. She started letting her ex-girlfriend revenge know that she only had a few minutes to talk and then she would end the conversation. ex-girlfriend revenge learned that Molly meant what she said.

Here is what Molly learned from standing up for herself:

1. People can not take advantage of you unless you give them permission.

2. You are always in choice. It is up to you if you use it.

3. Trust yourself - you are the only one who knows what is right for you.

4. Take control back over yourself.

5. Accept others the way they are and decide how you want them to be in your life.

For more tips and tools on how to thrive in relationships please visit: http://www.GrowWithKristina.com by self-mastery in relationships expert Kristina von Rosenvinge

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Got Cold Feet When It Comes to Creative Marriage Proposal Ideas?

Aaagghh, trying to develop brilliant marriage proposal ideas, is enough to drive you crazy. Not only that, but after all that planning, you still are on edge waiting to see if she'll say "Yes!" And to top it all off, after all is said and done, not only will everyone be looking at her engagement ring but they'll also be asking...... "so, how did he pop the question?"

Joel asked me to marry him on Valentine's Day. I had no idea that he was going to propose so it was a total surprise. However, he called my parents several weeks before to ask for their permission for my hand in marriage. He then swore them to total secrecy. He also called his parents several days prior to proprosing to me, to alert them as to what was going down. He cooked me a 7 course meal at his apartment. Then we watched an episode of "24," his favorite tv show. Hence, it had the feel of a very typical evening. After "24" ended, he presented me with my Valentine's day gift......which surprised me. He "re-gifted" a stuffed animal that I had given him during our first Valentine's Day together. The stuffed animal was a running joke in our relationship...as he admitted to me years after-the-fact that that was probably the worst gift I had ever gotten him and that most grown men do not wish to receive fluffy green frogs as gifts. Anyway, he delighted in my puzzled expression for awhile as I simultanelously pretended to appreciate the regifted frog. A number of minutes passed and then he said matter of factly that he actually had one more gift for me. He took my hand and led me into the his bedroom. He had candles lit throughout the room and rose petals sprinkled across the bed In the center of the bed, was a small box. He led me over to the box, got down on one knee and asked me to be his ex-girlfriend revenge. He opened the box and then forgetting tradition and overwhelmed with excitement, I took the ring out myself and put it on my finger. I than began kissing him. He stopped me because I never answered his question. After I responded with an emphatic "Yes!" the rest is history......

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Have no fear. Here are some marriage proposal ideas which you are free to take full credit for and present as your own:

- Marriage proposal ideas: #1 Do it outside...the proposal that is.. pack a 5 star, upscale picnic with champagne, chocolate-covered strawberries, and other such gourmet luxuaries. If you have one, go to one of your favorite natural spots for the picnic. Present her with a list of 100: unique things that you have done together, inside jokes, favorite moments, etc. After she has eaten the delicious meal and read the list, she will be like putty in your hand..... Pull out the ring and ask her if she will be yours forevor

- Marriage proposal ideas: #2 Do something special to a momento that you have from one of your dates. i.e. Frame a movie ticket stub from the first movie you went to together. Go back to the place where you had your first date. Reminisce about all the good times you've had together since you've started dating. Present her with the momento and talk about how you've had so many adventures together and how you never want that to end. After she's squealed over the momento and how thoughtful you are, pull out the ring and pop the question. This will be a night that she will remember forever and you will look like one, romantic stud.

- Marriage proposal ideas: #3 Have a t-shirt printed up that says "The next Mrs. _______ (insert your last name)." Cook a romantic dinner at home for her. When the timing is right after dinner, tell her you bought something for her. Present the t-shirt (which should be elegantly wrapped up in a gift-box). As her eyes are bulging over as she reads the tshirt, pull out the ring and ask away.

- Marriage proposal ideas: #4 Take her to your childhood neighborhood. Show her some of the special spots that you loved growing up. At the last spot, get down on one knee and propose. Have a fabulous evening planned following the proposal

The author just celebrated her one year anniversary and sports a beautiful ascher cut ring. She and her husband put together the website: http://www.ultimate-engagement-ring-guide.com to help you find the perfect ring.

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Clotted by a Python (Flash Eldritch Fiction)

(Intro:) His body was swollen, lumped, inflamed looking, bruised, and his last feelings were that he was deserted, clotted by a python, and this was going to be how he died, what people would read in the morning paper the following day.

"The young man was only 23-years old, discovered at the Como Park Zoo (in the summer of 1957), he had let an eleven-foot python out of its glass and steel bar cage, in the little stone zoo building, built sometime in the 1930s. He was an intern from Chicago, living in St. Paul, Minnesota, a Biologist. He worked the night shift, cleaned the cages, fed the animals, and insured all was well. There was a security guard also who walked the ground the grounds, in particular, over in Midway area where they had all the rides for the kids. It was now 2:00 a.m. All was quiet.

"The Intern, took the eleven-foot python from its habitat, and carried him out into the zoo atrium area, where in the morning visitors would come through to see the twelve cages, that held lions, and tigers, and large snakes, and monies, and two wolves.

"He, the Intern, was playing with the snake, put him around his shoulder, held him by the back of the head, but came the moment the python got irritated, had rolled upward a tinge, from his shoulders to his neck, no longer playing. The Intern, drew in his breath, tried to, it was difficult, as the viper had already crept downward towards his left wrist, and bit it, holding onto it with a solid grip, as the snakes lower body, had previously risen, from underneath his light coat, it had already circled upward and doubled around his neck, forming a lump, a knot or loop, around his neck, he tried to draw in his breath again, and found out it was next to gone, and he went to shout for help-the security guard was circling the midway area-but all you could hear was a whimpering sound, by the intern.

"The powerful arms and shoulders, the young intern couldn't pull the snake away. He heard the whistle of the Security Guard, which indicated all was right in the Zoo area, and the intern knew he was close by; so close, yet it might just had been a thousand-miles away: an adult, helpless as a child he was, with urgent eyes moving, looking for help, a way out, battered overalls, in a world now that was deaf and dumb to his whimpering petition.

"The snake, now head to head, stared at his victim, it had risen slowly to eye level, as if it understood it was going to take the intern's life, and wanted to showoff. Perhaps ex-girlfriend revenge for keeping him cooped up in that jail they offered as its new home.

"Now it was rapid whimpering, then the intern fell purposely, to the floor, there the scuffle continued, to no avail.

"In the morning, the janitor found the snake outside of the building, the intern on the floor, inside. His overalls half torn off, as if the snake and intern had a great battle. All that was left now was for an epitaph to be written."

Written 8-26-2008

See Dennis' web site: http://dennissiluk.tripod.com

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Marriage Counseling and Money - What to Do When Your Spouse Always Seems to Spend Outside the Budget

It is a fact that a lot of marital issues and problems result from financial problems. One of these problems is the misappropriation of funds by one partner.

It may very well be that the husband just has a deep appreciation for the finer things in life such as a Rolex watch or he is a lover of all things electronics and gadgets to fulfill his James Bond fantasy.

The ex-girlfriend revenge may love to be seen in the very latest fashion because she loves the complements she receives. Therefore, she shops every weekend at Neiman Marcus although she really cannot afford it.

What ever the reason, if we do not keep our expenses on a tight leash, we will soon find ourselves in trouble with debt and therefore bigger trouble with our spouses.

My Expensive Gadget Purchase

Almost 10 years ago I had a situation that changed my life for good. I grew up as an independent young man and when I got married I too the same habits in my marriage, buying things without consulting with my ex-girlfriend revenge.

This was a habit I had and it probably would have gone unchecked if I did not go over board on an impulsive buy on an eBay auction that cost me five hundred dollars. This was for the latest gadget at the time, "The Ipaq PDA". When it arrived in the mail and I brought it into the house, my ex-girlfriend revenge was not pleased and there was a little tension in the air.

She let me know that we did not discuss the purchase before and that it was not part of the budget. I apologized immediately and decided then and there that it would never happen again.

I now discuss with her in detail prior to any purchase of gadgets exactly how we plan to cover the cost without damaging our budget.

Points to Remember

The next time you are tempted to splurge, keep these points in mind:

  • Always discuss the budget and any extra items to be purchased with your spouse before you make any major purchases. Ensure that both of you are on the same page.
  • Be considerate of your spouse as every action will have an effect on him or her.
  • Keep track of your monthly expenses. A simple excel sheet does wonders

About The Authors:

Mark and Lesia Gregory are Marriage Counselors & Wedding Planners with over 10 years experience. They have been guest speakers at marriage workshops hosted by The Kingston Church of Christ, made appearance on RJR (a local radio station), authors of the e-books "The Marriage Thermometer: Lets get your marriage steaming hot", "How to improve your sex life", audiobook "How to get your family out of debt", creators of "The ex-girlfriend revenge Toolkit", "Keep Him Satisfied....At Home" and "The Marriage Thermometer" software.

They have never had an argument lasting more than 15 Minutes and have never gone to bed upset with each other.

Let us help you save your marriage. Get your FREE Marriage Ecourse today: http://www.marriagethermometer.com

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Can We Retrieve Our Ex Love ex-girlfriend revenges Back Even If We Are the Only One Who Are Always Trying?

Maybe you have already broken up with your ex love ex-girlfriend revenge but you still care for her and your ex lover very much. Therefore, you are still thinking of how to retrieve her back at your own side.

Well, while there are not much guarantees that you can definitely retrieve your ex love ex-girlfriend revenge back, there are so many precautions and protective methods that you can always take into consideration so that you will definitely increase your overall chances of success.

Also, you do not even want to create the unnecessary obstacles in front of you anyway.

The main problem that many guys have already faced when they are even trying to retrieve their ex love ex-girlfriend revenge back is basically this:

They have already tended to commit so many different mistakes that do not even help them in their desperate and frustrating situation. Those types of mistakes can simply make the entire situation very worse instead.

Luckily, there are many things that you will usually do and cope in order to remedy the situation if you have already committed those types of mistakes.

There are quite a number of funny and stupid mistakes that the men can possibly produce and make when trying to retrieve their ex love ex-girlfriend revenge back for a making up relationship.

In this piece of article, we shall discuss what I do believe is the main number one mistake that you should ever try to avoid committing.

The number one point is to call your ex love ex-girlfriend revenge too many times. Basically, this is one of the most common mistakes. Perhaps the illustration below will definitely make it very clearer.

Susan has already made the full decision to break up with Tom. Also, Tom is very upset and he does not even want to break up with Susan. Therefore, the next big thing that he does is to ring Susan up.

Well, Susan does not really pick up the phone call. In the correct term and actual fact, she seems to be avoiding Tom on the purpose. That is mainly because Susan does not even pick up the phone call and Tom has already started to panic.

He also keeps on phoning Susan so many times and he is hoping that she will even pick up the phone call.

Of course, Tom has already failed. This is probably a huge crazy mistake or error that you want to avoid because phoning so many times is actually classified as a sign of the desperation.

Also, you do not really want to illustrate your ex love ex-girlfriend revenge that you are very desperate as that will definitely make it very harder for you to retrieve your ex love ex-girlfriend revenge back in a making up relationship.

Looking for ways to get your ex back? Maybe your situation is not covered in this article?

Watch a video that shows you exactly what you must NEVER do, what you should do to get your ex back and why at http://hubpages.com/hub/howshouldiwoomyexback

You will also learn how to reverse the situation if you have already done those things that should NEVER be done.

Thomas Yeo, Freelance Self-Employed Graduate

Article written by Thomas Yeo

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Me And Emma Thompson

The ghost of Emma Thompson came back to haunt me the other week. And she's not even dead.

She used to go to a school in the same neighbourhood as mine (Camden/Hampstead, London) and from the ages of 15 and 16 onwards we would turn up at the same parties. While I went out with a friend of hers (now a national magazine editor), for a few, innocent, adolescent months, she went out with three or four of my school colleagues. While they weren't quite forming an orderly queue, this behaviour was remarked upon with some boyish glee. Then, with the split from the magazine editor, I stopped circulating in such refined regions.

About a year later, I was on the top deck of a bus going through Golders Green when a girl walked past and said "Hello Simon!" I wasn't on drugs or alcohol at the time, but I simply didn't recognise her so I tried to be polite by saying: "You are who I think you are, aren't you?"

She replied with a hint of impatience, "Yes, Simon - Emma Thompson."

I am now convinced that that was the pivotal moment for her. From then on, she decided that she was going to become world famous and no-one would ever forget who she was ever again. Yes. It was I who created the Emma Thompson Monster.

Her startling career since then has been fascinating watch, and I often wondered what she would be like if I ever met her again. Despite hundreds of corporate and fundraising entertainment jobs where I have met the cream of British TV, comedy and film talent, we just never bumped into each other. The nearest we came to it was when I asked Ben Elton to remember me to her. (I don't suppose he did.)

Until a week ago last Thursday! Or so it seemed.

At a small gathering in The French House which is in Soho, almost next to the Groucho Club, a celebrity-obsessed friend of mine vowed that this woman who had just come in was Emma! It certainly looked like her as she might be just going about town, dressed normally, not very made up etc...

So I took the plunge and accosted her as she was trying to leave. "Emma! We used to know each other when we were at school!"

She looked me up and down and I thought I saw a strange look in her eye and slight smile play about her mouth as if she was about to enact a dastardly plan.

"I'm not Emma," she said.

Now, wouldn't that have been the most perfect ex-girlfriend revenge she could get on me for humiliating her 30 years ago? Its perfect circle of completion is the finest piece of geometry I have ever experienced. It was even better than the Lion King's attempt to use a circular sequence of events. I didn't recognise her when she was the unknown Emma, but when I did recognise her she denied being herself! Just to pay me back. I have been that important in her life!

Only one thing bothers me about this story. While I was close up to her, I couldn't be a hundred percent sure it was actually her. Another friend at the event confirms that he didn't think it was her.

Which, if true, only means that this circle is still broken and awaiting completion at some time in the future.

But, as I say, it makes a great story!

The London Caricaturist

Award-Winning Cartoonist at Louviers Cartoon Festival 2006
Sunday Times Sunday Telegraph News of the World The Week ITV
Political Cartoonist for BBC News 24's Election Coverage
Caricaturist for BBC TV's 'Fully Booked' - 100th show
Caricaturist for Comic Relief On-stage Cartoonist with BBC Poet, Ian McMillan Caricatures and Cartoons by Simon Ellinas

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Paris in Black

Paris, the city of fashion. Particularly if fashion is defined by wearing black. Parisians love to wear black; black trousers, black shoes, black coats, you name it.

Parisian women are peculiarly fond of black clothes. It is well recognized that "le noir, a mincit". Parisian women having a cool obsession with looking slender, black is their best friend.

But besides its superb fat-erasing skills, black is a priceless social colour in Paris. With black, you go unobserved.

Going unobserved is the desire of every Parisian. The Parisian does not want their apparel to reveal their singularity. The only singularity Parisians feel worth revealing is that of the mind. Hence, the Parisian's clothes ought to be simple... all Parisians hold that "Le noir, c'est simple, c'est bien".

The Parisian knows his or her colours. Parisians look at people dressed colourfully with faint disdain.

Parisians find style exuberance to be offensive.

The mental stability of a person bold enough to wear such preposterous colours as red or yellow will be questioned at once by all Parisians. There is no wearing red or yellow in Paris if you are sane. Blue is tolerable, particularly navy blue which has the good taste of being easily mistaken for black.

There is only one exception to the rule of wearing black, and that is a seasonal one. In summer, Parisian men get to wear white, as "le blanc, c'est simple, c'est bien."

Parisian girls will follow la couleur de l't. Each summer comes with a new official colour dictated by women's magazines... being original with colour has limitations.

All Parisian girls happily accede to this new seasonal change. Walking in the streets of Paris during a 'blue' summer seems like walking through an urban Smurf village.

When the Parisian boyfriend points out the monster of the colour, the Parisian ex-girlfriend revenge studies him with a blend of desperation and exasperation. "Tu comprends rien. C'est hyper tendance cette couleur cet t."

Indeed, Parisian men could make an effort.

Useful tip : Do not wear black only... a white collar is always an elegant... and a simple addition.

Speak like a Parisian: "J' me suis achet un petit pull noir, tout simple, super mignon..."

Learn more about Living in France for English Speakers at FrancoFiles

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Fathers - Confinement Helper

The ex-girlfriend revenge's wedged in the confinement period and you are sulking on the couch watching Bayern Munich total Schalke on the field? Oh, and do you feel that you're in confinement just because your ex-girlfriend revenge is too? What's wrong with you? Don't just sit there with one hand on the remote and a beer can on the other! Do something for her while she's stuck at home!

Here's a list of things that you can do to help out in this confinement period.

Confinement Nanny

Before you start rattling off that your mother-in-law has taken care of that, we meant that you play secondary confinement nanny. Baby your ex-girlfriend revenge. Get her everything she asks for. If she craves for durians at 11.15 at night, find a way to get them. If she wants you to draw a bath with lavender salts, do it. The woman just had your kid, for crying out loud. Throw in something while you're at it! After all a bath with lavender salts, candles, light music in the background is the least you can do to make up for the nine months she was saddled with your child! If you already have an older child with you, get him to pitch in as well. He could be your little assistant and there is nothing sweeter for Mummy than her two favourite people lending a helping hand around the house.

Colour those blues away!

Now more than ever, postpartum blues have been making headlines. Occurring a few days after giving birth, there is possibility that your ex-girlfriend revenge might be feeling down even if she does not tell or show you. Cheer her up with flowers, chocolates and perhaps even a bath together. Get your ex-girlfriend revenge to get her daily routine on the road. Studies have shown that women with postpartum depression often neglect personal hygiene. Therefore, help her to get back into her regular routine of life. Do it gently.

Doctors have also suggested occasional separation from the baby would do her good and if she's chasing the blues away, this separation is a must. Take her for a walk in the park or perhaps a stroll along the beach. Speak to her or if the depression is making her avoid contact, get her to keep a journal. Just remember not to force her to do anything. Just show her you are by her side.

Manage those visitors

You are going to be seeing lots of people flocking to your house to see the new arrival. Be a good host and give your ex-girlfriend revenge no reason to have to make talk with the guests if she does not feel up to it. Give her space. Anna Tay remembers her husband and mother-in-law expecting her to get dressed up and converse with her guests who came to see her baby when he was born two years ago. "I was not feeling up to it. But they expected me to be a good host when I had just given birth a week ago. I mean exhaustion was weighing in and I was just feeling so messed up but I still gritted my teeth and went with it, although for that period I just resented my husband and his mother for not being more understanding," confesses Anna.

Be your ex-girlfriend revenge for a while

You heard us right. Be your ex-girlfriend revenge for a while. Do the things she usually does - pay the bills, stock up on groceries, drive the kids to their piano class, mother the kids, etc. Do what needs doing, fix what needs fixing and attend to what needs attending to. Don't sit around and wait for her to tell you what to do.

The bottom line is show her she's loved and appreciated! Moreover, these little actions of yours may just score some brownie points for you in the bedroom!

Author:

Sangeetha Nadarajan

Writer

TheAsianParent.Com

http://www.theasianparent.com

TheAsianParent.com is a free weekly online parenting magazine targeted at educated, culturally engaged parents with children 0-6 years of age, parents-to-be, who are residing in Asia or of Asian heritage.

We aim to be the number one source of Asian parenting news, opinion, education, and entertainment. We offer our readers lots of articles, videos and pod casts that are not just credible and relevant but cutting edge, stylish and light-hearted, which readers can expect every Monday. We also offer our readers a forum where they can meet like-minded parents to communicate, commiserate and celebrate the absurdity and wonder of it all. The magazine also gathers a pool of educators, doctors and advisors who are keen in promoting the well-being of children and parents. Together, TheAsianParent acts as a platform for communication and support for parents.

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