Leave Your Crutches At the Door

There is a common phrase that says, "We are the sum of our choices." Everything in our life has happened because we made choices or others made choices that affected us. Each of us have done wrong, embarrassing things based on choices made at the time. Many people live a life of responsibility and accountability. They lead lives of integrity and exude the vibes of honesty. Yet another segment of people refuse to face the reality of their choices and the damage and consequences they have caused. Which group do you belong to?

If you have ever sustained an injury to the foot or ankle area you know how difficult it is to put weight on that foot. Just the slightest pressure sends explosions of pain through your leg. Instinctively you put the weight on your good foot and try not to fall. Crutches sometimes are the only answer for this type of injury.

Crutches are appropriate for the care of injuries but are often used for inappropriately in other areas of life. Excuses are man's best friend at times. They help cover behaviors that we are not proud of. Instead of fessing up, men tend to look for anything to take the blame for what they have done. I feel qualified to write on the subject because I have used excuses throughout my life. Unfortunately, in my adult life I allowed these excuses to became entangled with my thinking. The result was a man not living a life that reflected honesty, responsibility, or integrity. I lived a phony life void of integrity.

There is a deep dark place that only few of us experience. That place is known as the "bottom." Several things happen at this juncture, regardless of what leads to this place of disgrace and humility.

• You instantly realize the good things in your life and cling on to them desperately, if there are any.
• Distorted thinking, rationalizing, and our crutches lose all of the power they previously boasted.
• You realize how weak you are capable of being and how small you really are.
• There is a strong sense of God or the emptiness of no higher being at all.
• Time to take responsibility and accept the current realities of your life.
• Time for gut wrenching reflection.

then........................

• Decision time

To move ahead in any kind of honest, healthy treatment or recovery requires the removal of all crutches. Recovery is loaded with pain because we have always used our crutches as our default setting. Every bend in the road of recovery forces us to face the pain of our decisions and choices. Just as we are ready to offer an excuse for our behavior, the crutch is pulled from us. The result is the union of our helpless bodies against the concrete as we fall. No person or excuse is there to catch us. What sounds like a brutal teen porn experience actually is. Fortunately, as we face our demons, insecurities, and distorted thinking, we begin to sense a new found freedom. This feeling is the result of pain, frustration, anger, and much denial. Little by little, the layers of our old self peel off like layers of an onion. Each layer is painful but makes the person one step closer to wholeness. What crutches do you rely on in your life? Imagine shedding them and tossing them into a huge bonfire. It will be the most difficult thing you have ever done, but will also be the most liberating experience of your life. I challenge you to identify your crutches, take on the pain, and walk the road to freedom. Travel on this road requires no crutches!

Randy Brown has passion for the game of basketball. He works as a basketball consultant and mentor for coaches. Visit him at http://www.coachrb.com for free resources, Q & A, newsletter, and coaching programs. A speaker and writer, he has authored 75 articles on coaching and is nationally published. His 18 years in college basketball highlights a successful 23-year career. Mentored by Basketball Hall of Fame coach Lute Olson at Arizona. Resume includes positions at Arizona, Iowa State, Marquette, Drake, and Miami of Ohio, 5 Conference Championships and 5 NCAA apprearances. His efforts have helped develop 12 NBA players including Steve Kerr, Sean Elliott, and Jaamal Tinsley. To contact Randy, email him at rb@coachrb.com.

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